Saga of Self Love

Hey there, I appreciate you being here! I appreciate the time you are taking to read this.

Let me share a story with you…

This is a story of Larry Cane who was born in a poor family, so while growing up he decided to work hard and finally, he put himself through New York University. After graduation, he started his career in advertisement business and soon became successful. He married a beautiful woman and had 10 room duplex, limousines and 15 planes. He was making millions of dollars and for this Time magazine published an article about him. One day way back home he felt so miserable that he thought of taking his own life, fortunately, he contemplated jumping and decided not to jump.

The reason why I mention this story is if you observe he had achieved everything in his life which most of us are willing to achieve. At the outer level, his life seems perfect right? Yet he is unhappy, why so? Isn’t what we were told having good education with so-called good grades, having high paid salary job, marrying a Good-hearted and good-looking partner, and then kids are the best life oh!! I forgot to mention a house and a car as well. After the incident, Larry questioned himself what exactly he was looking for and he says “I saw that I wanted happiness and love”

It’s the happiness and love which he was looking till that day. Isn’t it strange having wife and kids Larry still lacking love don’t they love him? Above all, he is getting regards from everyone being at a higher position he would enjoy a high social status in the society still feeling miserable inside?  For this I want to tell you one truth which  I came across and realized how deep and true it is and that is Even if the whole world loves me and I don't accept me the way I am, then I will never get satisfied by the love of others there will always be a craving that I need more or I feel I'm not enough or simply feel worthless and another way round is also true even if the whole world be it my parents, siblings, partner, office colleague are against me and  I as individual love myself, respect myself then absolutely nobody can make me feel unworthy. This is the power of self-love. Aren't we doing similar things we too had goals like him of being best without realizing that even if I fulfill every goal then also I can't feel satisfied Because whatever we do in our life is to get happiness and love but you know material things can give you comfort they can't give you the feeling of love, in fact, the people who love us the most they also can't make us feel satisfied unless we love and accept ourselves. And there is one more truth You Can never give someone what you don't have, if you feel okay I don't love myself but I will do my best to love others or to simply please them so that they can love you in return then I must say you are preparing a situation of heartbreak. I have seen people saying  ‘’ I did everything for my loved ones whatever they said, I tried my best to give them everything, whenever they needed me I was with them I did things going out of my way yet they are not happy with me they say I haven't done anything big, they are ungrateful to me ''. This type of heartbreak happens when we keep on pleasing others without loving ourselves, without taking out time for ourselves. Make yourself as 1^st priority. I'm not saying you to stop loving others or fulfilling their needs or to stop helping others, all I want to say is while doing all these don't forget to love yourself, Don't forget to spend some time with you alone, Don't forget to appreciate you, adore you. Self-love is when I  as an individual accepts myself with all my flaws, past mistakes, failures, shame, guilt, pain moreover accept the fact that despite all my flaws there is goodness in me, there is truth, peace, happiness, bliss also lies in the chamber of my heart and this realization and acceptance make your life heaven.

Wait let me clear you a very important thing, self love doesn't mean your mistakes are valid or the unacceptable behavior you did in the past was right and in the name of self love you are repeating them again and again. No this is not a self love big no to this!

Self love is if I did something wrong in my past then for all those acts I will take responsibility and make sure to learn lessons from them and use them to become more understanding, kind, compassionate towards others. Moreover now onwards I will use my goodness and truth for my betterment by not repeating the same mistake. This is how your confidence and trust increases and in case if someone has hurt you then it means you forgive the person you are not condemning the act it just you now no  longer allow the incidence to make you feel miserable. Forgiveness means letting go of the pain that you are holding because once you let go of the pain it will create a space in your heart and very soon it will be filled with the with goodness, peace, bliss, joy, new dreams, and new life of happiness.

Trust me self love is the foundation of your life. I agree it’s easier said than done but at least give a try for a week to love yourself, behave with yourself with kindness even if nobody is doing that to you. It's a long journey yet extremely interesting there will be days you will like okay I accept myself as I am and will improve myself with love yet other days you will find yourself getting into the trap again of self-sabotaging, looking for validation from others, explaining yourself, doing mistakes but that doesn't mean you should give up on yourself be with yourself and yes having goals of getting good grades, having high paid salary job, kind-hearted and beautiful partner, kids, big house, a car is not at all bad. One should always make their life goals high and should do every effort to achieve them but along with self-love. When you love yourself you actually can give more love to your loved ones without hurting your soul. And I have seen people who respect them lead a more satisfied and healthy life.  

“It sounds like a cliché but I also learnt that you’re not going to fall for the right person until you really love yourself and feel good about how you are.”
- Emma Watson, British Actress and Activist

 

Written by Ankita Sharma (Guest Contributor)

.