Conquering Depression

TW: Depression/Suicidal thoughts

Ever noticed when you’re in a depression, it’s like you’re lost, and the problem of being lost is: you don’t know where to go. You become a sort of half-blind manner in the fog deluding yourself by remaining vague. Depressed people can go to such dark places you can’t imagine. The worst part the depressed person thinks is that everywhere I look is nothing but catastrophe. And I can't see any way out of it. I can't see any path forward. It's hopeless. It isn't going to get any better, no matter where I turn: There's no escape. The suffering is unbearable. And I'm no use whatsoever to anyone. It will be better for everyone if I was just gone.

I planned to take my own life, a few times ago because I lost someone close to my heart, but even in deep sorrow I asked myself why I shouldn’t?...that saved my life! It’s a question that cuts close to my bone. My best friend committed suicide. I was just beating myself up about that what could I have done differently. I could have treated her better; I could have listened to her better. I could have been there for a bit longer. I failed as a person, and I failed as a friend.

You can't fix someone's suicide. You stuck with it. People who love you will torture themselves for the rest of their lives. It devastates the people you leave behind. This unbearable pain of suffering come across my mind when I was in the same situation and I dropped the idea. I can’t let my loved ones suffer the same way I was suffering. Before taking your life you have to think very carefully through the consequences of that for other people. I have met some people who’ve never recovered from the suicide of a family member. Years later, they’re still torturing themselves about it. So this is what you leave behind. Now the problem is you might be dreaming that life is being twisted against you and that people deserve to suffer for the misery that they’ve imposed upon you.

Depression is a terrible thing and many-many-many things cause it. We understand some of the reasons but we don’t many. Maybe you’re hurt, but don't give up hope before you explore all possible options. If you didn't disclose or talk to the people you love then you owe this to yourself. If you love someone, you simultaneously accept their fragility. You have gone die, you will be betrayed, those are going to happen. You have intrinsic value and you can't casually bring that to the end. Confront the dragon of the past. Your life is not yours to take. You don’t own yourself as you own an object. You are morally obligated to yourself as a locus of divine value. Put yourself back on your feet. Don’t underestimate your value. There is also room for self-forgiving maybe you did something reprehensible.

If you’re reading this, I request you to please check your loved ones. They might be hiding a lot of pain under their smile. You can be there for them. You can listen. You can watch. You can intervene. You can try to understand them. But everyone has their destiny and you're not omnipotent. The more you understand people, the deeper you understand the nature of your being.

I would also say that we should dispense with our resentment and bitterness; despite we have every reason for it. As Keanu Reeves said in an interview: when we die, people who love us will miss us….! 

Written by an M.Com. student, based on the judgement and continuous learning followed by personal experience.